Is not a name to abuse. It is a lovely name with french roots like me. I’m a lovely person with french roots. I’d like to go to France someday. I’d like to be able to write again about flowers and alternate realities where the good are only to succeed. I’d like to quit being such a weed whore.
My dad told me that you have to be a genius to run away. It’s true. Think about how Kerouac and Burroughs got by. They were fucking intelligent.
Just running away to a far distant content away from here would be lovely. Okay, let’s think of places to go. Where do you have family? Online friends? Penpals?
I’ve got: Denver, Austin, Los Angeles, New Orleans, New York, Atlanta (sorry you guys but i’m putting a curse on your city one day), Somewhere in the Northeast where my long lost dear cousin resides, Michigan! Maybe I’ll go to Michigan. I’d like to reside there. My dad lived his younger years in Michigan before he got sucked into the southeast.
I am without a passport currently so moving from country to country isn’t probable.. yet.
I’m trying to create tensions, okay?
Literary tension is my favorite. When someone is being exposed to an uncomfortable situation and ends up doing something at the end to surprise us all. I’d like to think that that it’s what makes a story good and what makes a life good. When you surprise me and come up on my doorstep at 2 in the morn because… Well, just because.
I saw a picture today of two girls laying on a rock holding hands. It brought me the feeling of innocence and connections like no other, so I made it my facebook thing. I got really high yesterday and decided that I’m going to become a hippie goddess.
I hope Erin brings my phone charger to me today. I swear Erin is becoming like… Mary to me. They are so similar yet different. Erin has this stature to her, no worries all good-times. She get’s it if you know what I mean. I still have a lot to learn from her. And a lot to teach her. I guess. That’s what friends do. We’re thinking about renting an apartment in Hattiesburg next year and going on the road over the summer for a bit.
Yes, I’m thinking about ultimately staying in this god awful city. I might be getting a job at the movie theater. I also really want to use my study abroad scholarship so I can go to Spain for practically nothing and watch a real bullfight take place.
Sure, I know that you are tired of hearing about it But most repeat the same theme over and over again, It’s as if they were trying to refine what seems so strange And off and important to them.
It’s done by everybody Because each must work out what is before them over and over again Because that is their personal tiny miracle. Like now as like before And before I have been listening to symphony after symphony from this radio It makes me realize that certain people now long dead Were able to transgress graveyards and traps and cages and bones and limbs In tiny rented rooms I was struck by miracles
The flesh covers the bone and they put a mind in there And sometimes a soul and the women break vases against the walls And the men they drink too much And nobody ever finds the one But keep looking crawling in and out of beds. Flesh covers the bone and the flesh searches for more than flesh.
There is a loneliness in this world So great that you can see it in the slow movement of the hands of a clock People so tired, mutilated, either by love or no love. People just are not good to each other. We are afraid. Our educational system tells us that we can all be big winners But it hasn’t told us about the gutters or the suicides. Or the terror of one person aching in one place Alone, untouched, and unspoken to.
People are not good to each other. People are not good to each other. I suppose they never will be. I don’t ask them to be. But sometimes I think about it. There must be a way. Surely, there must be a way
There’s no chance at all: We are all trapped by fate. Nobody ever finds the one. Nobody ever finds the one.
There’s no chance at all: We are all trapped by fate. Who put this brain inside of me? It says that there’s a chance. It’s kept the rope from my throat Maybe it will loosen yours.
The city dumps fill. The junkyards fill. The graveyards fill.
“I made up a lot of the songs I sing. It’s like you hear a record or something or other. Well, you pick out some words out of that record that you like. You sing that and add something else onto it. It’s just like if you’re going to pray, and mean it, things will be in your mind. As fast as you get one word out, something else will come in there. Songs should tell the truth… When I play— if you pay attention, what I sing the guitar sings, too. And what the guitar say, I say.”—Mississippi Fred Mcdowell
You have got a lot of nerve to behave the way that you do, making me listen to all of your carrying on. You are not the only one who thinks that life is so cruel, me, I have got problems of my own.
But if you talk and no one’s listening then it’s almost like being alone. So it’s alright the way you piss and moan it’s alright, the way you piss and moan.
Like the time traveler who killed his grandfather these cycles are bringing me down. We could build a nice life together if we don’t kill each other first. Are you just too fucked up to understand me or is it the other way around? Maybe it’s both, and I just don’t know which is worse.
So you better thank your lucky stars you don’t know half what I know is true. And it’s alright if you think that you do it’s alright, if you think that you do.
Was it the devil, or was it the lord who gave you those words? The ones I never heard?
It’s alright to kill and it’s alright to steal if you’re willing to hold up your part of the deal. There are plenty of things that are worth dying for but you’ll never know until you open that door. And reasons for living are seldom and few and if you see one you better stick to it like glue. Yes it’s true.
If I were there to keep satisfied all of your carnal desires, then it might be my place to say what is or isn’t forbid. So how can I hold it against you if you answer the call of the wild? No matter how brilliant a woman, you’re only a kid.
But if you know that no one is ever going to suffer for you like I did. Then it’s alright the way that you live it’s alright the way that you live. It’s alright now.